Aventinus Weizenbock (wheat doppelbock)

Remember when I had a discussion about beers that I'm not sure American brewers could recreate? This may be one of them. A seemingly simple beer with an obscene amount of depth and subtlety. If I had a "ten beers you wanted to bring to a desert island" list,....this one would most likely make that list. As you can tell, I know I'm going to like this one coming in, but I thought I'd give it a full review for all you newbies out there, so maybe you have an idea what to expect.

This beer is a "weizenbock" which is essentially (at least this specific beer) is part hefeweizen, part doppelbock. It has all the yummy esters (crap you taste from the yeast) and pairs it beautifully with a heavier dose of malt. This particular bottle essentially tells you that this is a wheat version of a doppelbock.

This is a 16.9oz/500ml bottle, and you can usually find it for like 4-4.50 a bottle at a good liquor store. As this is double-malted, it clocks in at a stout 8.2% abv. I poured this into a big hefe-glass pretty much similar to the one shown in the pic on the right.

The pour is dark like a big heavy doppelbock, but a little more hazy and with some golden hues. The head is a big, off-white, fluffy,, almost root-beer float like, and stands about 3 fingers. It almost looks like you could take a spoon to it like whipped cream on top of your milk shake. Effing beautiful. After about 5 minutes, a good finger's worth remains.

The first thing you get in the nose is a big sharp clove, big banana, and like any yummy hefeweizen, a fair amount of bubble gum. This smells effing delicious. (that's 2 "effings" if you're counting). After a few more whiffs, there is a definite alcohol presence. Not a huge amount of booze, but more than you'd find in most wheats. Overall, the clove dominates.

Taste is everything you find in the nose, but with a bit of caramel and almost sugary malts. The alcohol and banana meld together, while the clove and the bubblegum linger on the tongue. It's all very smooth and almost creamy at times. This is just like the name of the beer would suggest, it's 1/2 wheat, and 1/2 doppelbock. Not as crisp as a good hefe, and not as syrupy as a normal doppelbock.....but a mix of the two. There's a hint of dark fruit-like stuff in there that you get with the bigger dark malts, but the caramel and sweetness I described are certainly more prevalent. It never feels overly heavy and is obscenely drinkable for it being 8.2% abv. This is a ton of ingredients and flavors to put into one brew, but at no times does it become overwhelming or too much to handle on the tongue. (that's what she said)

This is simply one of the finest beers on the planet, and maybe one of the top 5 brews (my humble opinion of course) to come out of Germany. It's big, complex, beautiful, but still subtle enough to be extremely accessible, even to the noobiest of the beer noobs. If some d-bag out there refuses to drink "dark beers" but is a lover of all things Blue Moon and Blvd. Wheat, then this is the beer to show them that not all dark beers look and taste like Guinness draft. This gives them all the wheat-y goodness they want and introduces them to some darker malts and the flavors and sweetness that comes with it. This is the definition of a "big beer" but remains a quintessential German brew in that it's really really easy to drink.

If you don't enjoy this beer at least a little, I have a hard time believing you are even a fan of beer in general.

Verdict: 9/10

Cheers, biatches.

Boulevard's Tank 7

Ok, I know this time of year is just right for winter warmers, big stouts, old ales, scotch ales/wee heavys and the like, but I just felt like talking about this yummy beer while it's still reasonable outside. Too many times people new into the beer scene look down on Boulevard as a brewery in that they think that all they have to offer are the oft-seen Unfiltered Wheat and Pale Ale. They want to try something new and fail to realize that (while there's nothing wrong with Bully's everyday offerings) Boulevard has a number of really top notch brews in their "Smokestack" Series. Often times, where I work, the Tank 7 is a nice introduction into the previously unknown world of the high-end Boulevard offerings.

Like I said before, Tank 7 is a "Saison" aka: "Farmhouse Ale", and thus the crispness and dryness of the beer makes people think that it is more appropriate in the spring or summer. Nonsense, this (the Tank 7, that is) is a solid brew and is good any time of year. Furthermore, this beer can pair with a ton of food, as the dry character of it works as a great palate cleanser.


While you usually don't see this beer in bottles, I was fortunate enough to score a 12oz version of it. The Smokestack stuff was generally only available in 750ml bottles, but Boulevard just recently started putting out four packs. We'll see how this goes. Also, I usually post my own photos of the beers I'm drinking, but frankly that is becoming a pain in the ass. That being said, I would not recommend the glassware used in this picture for a Saison. I'm thinking something like a tulip, or at least not something with a wide mouth. I usually like a lot of air to get to my Belgians, and am not worried about head retention or loss of carbonation, but not with this beer. I like my Saisons to be a little more sharp, tart, and crisp. The smaller opening on the glass should help retain some of that character. Of course this is merely a suggestion, and my personal preference.

So....

12oz bottle poured into a Ommegang Hennepin glass. Boulevard is certainly going for the "Belgian" look with these new bottles. The label says this is 8% abv, pretty sturdy for a saison. Normal pour gives me a nice 2 finger head with a really deep, golden, hazy body with orange hues. In giving the beer a minute or two to settle down, the head is retaining pretty well with some lacing....although it's not the distinct rings, but more random little islands.

Smells like a real Belgian. Bready and yeasty. Outside of that is notes of alcohol and some sharp citrus with lemon/lemon-grass dominating the fruitiness. Back to that "smells like a real Belgian" comment: there is that definite hint of farmhouse funk to the beer. It's ok to use that term, because that's what I think it is, it's a funk. Not a bad or a good thing, but a nice quality that doesn't exist in a lot of American made Belgian ales.

Taste is interesting. I've only had this on tap (a bunch of times) and it may be because this is a touch colder than usual......but I'm getting quite a bit more hop bitterness than I'm used to. This isn't bad, it's just different. So I let it warm up a bit and the bitterness gets taken down *just* a touch. The first thing you notice when you drink it is the carbonation in it, which is followed by a punch of tart and citrus. It's not a HUGE kick of either, it's there....but it's clean and crisp. That is followed by the hops and alcohol which is certainly present. There is a hint of sweetness that's present in the background during most of the drinking, but it's not tongue-coating, or very "big" in that respect. Every aspect of the beer is clean and crisp, the only thing that lingers is a touch of hops and a touch of alcohol. I would say from my experience, that all these sharp flavors are lost (just a touch) when you get it on tap, and you get a slightly sweeter product. Now, don't get me wrong, it's phenomenal on tap, it's just a bit different as I find it sweeter.

(Note: this beer by all means gets sweeter as it warms up. If it's too tart or bitter at first, just give it 10-15 minutes).

All in all, this is just a top-notch saison. I talk a lot of shit on American brewer's ability to make Belgian beers, but this is definitely done right. It has that nice funky-yeasty character that most U.S. brews are missing, and keeps the flavor profile consistent with the traditional saisons. It's balanced, tart, clean, and refreshing and drinkable. The only thing that makes this clearly American is the noticeable hope profile. It adds a bit of "green-ness" that you probably won't see from ones from across the pond.

Once again, to all you beer newbies out there, Boulevard is more than a wheat beer with a lemon in it, they make some really top notch, high-end brews in their Smokestack Series. The tank 7 is one of them.

Verdict: 8/10

Cheers.

American Craft brews: Innovation vs. Execution of classic styles.

So, working at a beer bar and mingling with a considerable amount of fellow beer lovers has given me ample opportunities to engage in a debate discussing who we think, country-wise, offers the best beer. While the argument always is between Belgium, Germany, and the good ol' US of A, I think the discussion offers a more interesting debate that I believe to be of a different character than merely your favorite beer producing location. The subject I love discussing with beer experts (those who know a considerable larger amount than I) and brewers is what they genuinely think of the quality of American beers. I come at this from an execution standpoint.

When I say "execution" I think of it in a couple of ways: 1. The execution of a classic style of beer that's been brewed for hundreds of years in places like Germany/Czech Republic and Belgium. I combined ze Germans and the Czechs because when you talk about Czech beer you really are focusing on their pilsners, which are certainly different from the German pilsners, but debating the differences doesn't help this discussion. I also left out the English/Scottish/Irish because there is very little to no attempt these days to make beers that are reminiscent to those traditional styles any longer. All of our Pale Ales, Porters, Stouts etc.....are very American and have a characteristic of their own. Beer Advocate are even giving most styles brewed here the "American" prefix. 2. The second "execution" I speak of is in regards to the absolute explosion of the last 5+ years of all sorts of crazy beer styles and flavor profiles. These things include ultra-hopping, barrel aging, crazy yeast strains, collaboration brews, mixing of styles, adding ingredients like chocolate/coffee/vanilla.........well, the list goes on and you get my point. Fellow beer lovers put America at #1 because we have, as a country, taken beer to another level. I agree with that in theory, but I think the thing that keeps me pensive about throwing the US into the top spot is that we have seemed to bypass some of the all time classics in favor of our own fusion-style cuisine, so to speak. In mind it's execution per se, but the innovation and new flavor profiles that get us excited.

EXECUTION OF TRADITIONAL STYLES

This is what I discuss most with beer experts, and remains my biggest issue with American breweries. With all the innovation that takes place on a seemingly less than yearly basis with American brewery, it is my opinion that while the quality of American beer has reached very high levels, there still seems to be a lack of brewers and breweries that can sit down, take a style that has been made in the aforementioned countries for hundreds of years, and nail it. To hell with the rye malts, the crazy yeast strains, the crazy hopping, etc.......take a Belgian abbey ale, a hefeweizen, a doppelbock and kick its ass. Do it without adding any of that extra bullshit and just knock it out of the park. Time and time again (with a few exceptions, of course) American brewers miss the mark. I absolutely LOVE the complexity that some of the newer American brews offer that challenge the pallet....they have become fun to drink. What bothers me though, for some reason, is that in brews that have been made for a really long time, you can find a big ol pile of complexity that is as interesting to the pallet as something that American brewers are inspired to make because they found something they thought looked cool at a yard sale.

Specific Examples you ask? here goes:

The German Doppelbock: There is one American doppelbock I've had that is even in the same stratosphere as the best traditional German doppelbock (the best being Ayinger's Celebrator) and that is made by Bell's brewery out of Michigan (their Consecrator) that hangs with Ayinger's.....kind of. Outside of that one, it's a really really poor go around. America features brews that are heavy-handed with the malt, and become a big, syrupy mess. Celebrator gets all the yummy sweetness, and brown sugar-caramel character that you would want, and doesn't even hit the 7% abv mark. The American ones that I try are all 8% plus and just blow the pallet out with this maple-y nonsense. They look the part, smell the part.....and you get a feeling that they know what they're doing....yet once it hits your tongue you realize the execution is really piss poor. None of them are even CLOSE to what you'd find from a number of German brewers.

German Hefeweizen: A proper German hefeweizen is a relatively low-alcohol brew, yet can still give you a really entertaining level of complexity with competing notes of clove, bubble gum, banana, and maybe a few others every once in a while. It is a highly-drinkable, easily accessible style of beer, yet seems to be forgotten when "great brews" are discussed.....I believe because of its ease to drink. Unlike the last example with doppelbocks, I'm not sure I've tasted any American version of this style that's even worthy to call a a "hefeweizen", much less compare it to the likes of one of the world's finest beers, in Weihenstephaner's Hefe weissbeer. Hell, many American breweries seem to shy away from the name "Hefeweizen" and try to limit themselves to a mere use of the term "unfiltered" when describing their wheats. And while breweries like Boulevard out of Kansas City, Missouri have certainly made a name for themselves with a very drinkable, easy to find brew in their wheat beer, it doesn't have 1/100th the sophistication or flavor profile of any number of German wheats. The American brews that I have tried that have the balls to put "Hefe" in their name make a more valiant effort, but still come off as nothing more than full-bodied, easy to drink brews. A good German Hefe accomplishes that, but also shows a beautiful delicate nature to the style that gives it an interesting array of flavors on even the most inexperienced pallet.

Any Belgian Abbey-Ale: The list of the beautiful abbey-style ales that come from Belgium is seemingly too long to even worry about. I think if you are reading this blog than you have more than likely come across any number of dubbels, tripels, quads that are wonderful pieces of brewing art and absolute treasures to drink. This is a similar discussion as the one above with Doppelbocks, but it is my opinion that a great Belgian abbey-ale offers a fairly larger array of flavors and subtleties than even your high-end doppelbock. That's not a knock on ze Germans, just a general observation of German beers which tend to focus on drinkability, versus some big Belgian ales which more often lend themselves to be "sippers". Crap, I'm getting off-track. The point is, is that this is yet another style where Americans seem to fall short. I'm not saying that you have to love abbey-ales, but like the doppelbocks, many of the American attempts at making these big beers really miss the mark. These are all heavily-malted beers, but for some reason or another, the amount of malt in the brew is often-times the only thing executed correctly. There are extremely easily noticeable levels of complexity to the traditional Belgian ales that aren't found in the American attempts. Now, not being a brewing expert I'm not 10000% sure why this is the case, but I would assume (and some brewers have hinted at this with me) that it's the yeast used and the quality of the malt used in the product. There are a lot of wonderful, spice-characteristics that come in the traditional ales from Belgium that, often times, pull together, and help clean up a beer that is otherwise "heavy" in every sense of the word. The American versions are certainly "heavy", but the fun notes of fruit, pepper, and funk that are found in the traditional takes on the styles often just aren't there. Of all the North American breweries that throw their hat into the abbey-ale ring, I'd say the most consistent product, in my opinion, comes from Unibroue out of Canada. They have all the wonderful notes coming from their yeast that the American versions seems to be missing.

HEAVY-HANDED INNOVATION

It would take quite a while to list all the new styles and flavor profiles that American brewing has given us over the last few decades. As a dedicated beer drinker I love this and it can be really exciting when a brewer gets it "right". The wide spread use of barrel aging, adjunct malts like rye, different yeast strains, and of course massive use of hops - in any and all amounts and varieties has allowed American brewers to do more than stake their claim in the world of high end brews. Hell, the American IPA has almost single-handedly taken American brewing to another level. Most reasonable beer snobs realize this and enjoy going out and tackling the ever growing collection of mad scientist brews that we now have.

Ok, I've kissed enough ass to show that the point of this post isn't a wholesale indictment of American brewing. The problem I have (at times) with this innovation is the fact that such a prevalence does not cover up the first point that I made. Many American brewers still fail to execute the classical styles have been perfected by man in Europe. I understand that America hasn't been doing it as long as the folks across the pond, but that's also the reason why I think our ability as a country, to brew beer, still isn't on the level of those who have perfected their craft. A great hefeweizen, belgian tripel, saison, and doppelbock can entertain your taste buds with a very high level of complexity.....all without bringing in all sorts of adjuncts, barrel aging, and a mouth puckering barrel of hops. In the aforementioned styles, you still have an exquisite layering of flavors, a beautiful balance of bitter and sweet, and at times a level of drinkability that does can be hard to find, even among the high end American brews.

A discussion on drinkability brings us back to the title of this section in reference to the "heavy-handedness" of many high-end American creations. Too many times the drinker is beaten over the head with dominant note of the beer. The seemingly endless supply of double and imperial IPAs often times showcase nothing more than a brewers ability to get their hands on an obscene amount of hops. It's to the point where it often seems like the brewer was mistakenly delivered too many hops and had to figure out a way to use them before they went bad. What the fuck...let's throw some more into the boil!! Certain beers here and there give us a decent malt backbone and help tone down the mouth-puckering bitter a bit, but that often isn't the case. The same heavy handed behavior is showcased in our weak attempts at anything that is made with significant amount of mat....be it a doppelbock, or a high-gravity belgian style abbey ale. Certainly the German and Belgian versions of those styles feature a big, malt profile, but there are subtle hints of bitter, and more importantly beautiful esters that offer notes of fruit and spice that help complete the beer and keep it from becoming a syrupy mess. American attempts at high malted styles like those just mentioned are just that.....big syrupy messes. The malt is way too heavy handed, and the subtleties that keep the beer from becoming a malt bomb and nothing else are non-existent.

Another issue I have is with the innovation itself. While sometimes the final product is nothing short of a really cool brew, it seems as if American brewers are hiding the fact that they can't make any of the traditional styles mentioned, (at least not at a high level) and throw in all these new ingredients and techniques to develop a more complex profile. I don't know if there is this idea that these old styles are tired and boring, but it's hard to believe that any good beer drinker would find something like St. Bernardus Abt 12, Ayinger Celebrator, or Weihenstephan Hefeweizen boring. To me it seems like some American brews are like the people that use A-1 steak sauce on their steak because they can't cook the beef the way it's supposed to be cooked. Either that or the ingredient(s) they started with are simply inferior. The same goes for a top notch piece of seafood. A good seafood joint won't ruin a fresh, perfectly cooked product with a plateful of heavy sauces because simple ingredients done properly should offer a great product, with depth of flavor.

I'm not saying that American brewers owe John Q. Beerdrinker a larger portfolio of traditional brews, my ultimate argument is that I simply don't think that, in terms of skill, American brewers have been able to perfect traditional brews. That doesn't mean our beer is craft, it just means I don't get on board with the idea that we have surpassed the veterans of the beer making profession. The proof is in the product, and the American versions of any number of traditional styles fall EXTREMELY short of their predecessors. An ability to make those styles at a high level will not only offer more depth to a brewer's portfolios, but more importantly, allow them to use that skill and their innovation to start absolutely dominating the euros in high-end brewing.

Sorry folks, we aren't there yet.


Fellow beer nerds, let me know what you think. I have some people that think I'm bat shit crazy, and some people that agree with me to a certain extent.

Cheers.

Boddington's Pub Ale

Yeah......it's been a long g.d. time since I've written on here. I'd like to attribute it to a growing number of hours at work, but I'm not sure that would really work. I've just been a bit lazy. I've been drinking a ton of beer, as per usual.....but I just have been too lazy to write about it. Oh well. I'm sure your hearts were unmercifully broken for the last few months.

All that crap aside, I've decided to write a post or two tonight and am starting with a beer I have never really liked. Well, when I initially drank it 6-7 years ago, I though I was cool and hip because people would see the Guinness-like consistency of it (it's generally served with Nitrogen as opposed to CO2) and be all "WTF?!?!"...and I guess the taste wasn't too much one way or another. Soon thereafter I began drinking bigger beers and found this to be a very bland brew. Now, I'm trying to reconsider the place that some of the more old-fashioned session brews have in my life and have decided to give this another go. A few sips recently from the tap at work have made me think maybe Boddington's isn't THAT bad. So let's see.

Now, as this is being enjoyed in my living room, I'm serving this out of a can poured into a glass. The can has one of those nitrogen plastic balls in it to help mimic what you get out of the draught, although it never does justice to the real thing. So take this with a grain of salt.

Poured the beer from a cold (not super-cold, though....the can recommends 41 degrees F) can into a simple pint. Opened the can.....and the sumbitch done exploded all over the place. I was able to salvage it with some quick thinking and got to pouring. Super tan, with tiny bubbles all over the place. There is a bit of cascading action, but it clears up much quicker than a nitro stout like Beamish/Murphy's/Guinness. Color settles to a really deep golden/yellow/brown. Very white head remains, although only about half a finger. Usually if it's a fresh pour off a good keg you'll get at least twice as much. Carbonation is non-existent as there is no added carbonation to this beer (only nitrogen), and no bubbles messing around outside of the remaining head. Not much to say about the look, but the average beer drinker might think it's flat. And that person would be an idiot.

Smell actually resembles that of a low hopped, mild, English ale with a touch of sweetness, and a grainy smell you get from when you're brewing or visiting a brewery and you smell real, un-milled barely. A bit of a metallic note is there as well. Not sure if that is from the beer or the can. I think I usually get that same smell when I have this on tap, so I'm going to assume it's probably the beer. Either way, it's negligible. Not gonna lie though, this smells like a cheap beer.

Taste is....ehh. There is a little hop bitterness on the tongue, but not much. It's not floral, piney, fruity, resinous, or any other way you want to describe hops, it's just flat out bitter. Not saying that's a bad thing, but just that it is there. Definitely more bitter than what you smell. It's almost as if there is bitterness coming from somewhere else, as the sweetness doesn't play any more role than that of a balance from the malt. As it warms, that metallic note becomes a bit more present, and unfortunately lingers a bit with the bitter. I'm not sure what one taste people are seeking out when they order/buy one of these. Nothing about it is overly pleasant. It's palatable and not "horrible", at best.

Mouthfeel is what people probably dig about this beer, and I'm ok with that. The fact that it's a nitro-brew and that it's a bit flattened out makes this fairly creamy on the tongue. No harsh carbonation at ALL to speak of makes it really easy to put down, and sometimes not even notice the flavor of the beer. (this may be a good thing)

Drinkability, as alluded to in the mouthfeel comment is very high. It's really creamy/smooth and easy to put down. Most traditional brews from the British isles are meant for sessioning (aka: drinking for a long period of time with ease) and this one certainly meets that criteria. I imagine after a couple of these that beers # 4,5,6 would be unnoticeable. (once again, maybe a good thing)

So like I said before, I can dig the drinkability aspect and the mouthfeel to this beer. Only problem is that there are other beers that meet this criteria and taste light years better. This simply is not a very good tasting beer no matter how you put it. I don't need to be drop-kicked with flavor, but what flavor this does have isn't great. I'm putting it into the Budweiser heavy category where I most likely won't order one unless it is the only non-light beer available, but I won't be all that perturbed if someone buys a round and that's what I get stuck with. It's extremely easy to put down, smooth from the first sip all the way down to where it reaches your belly. For that I give it props, but I'm pretty sure that drinkability has more to do with the fact that the beer is served with nitro, and has not much to do with the actual flavor of the product.....which is ultimately sub-par.

Oh well, cheers.

Verdict: 4/10

Ska Brewery is here. (in Missouri that is)

So, Ska Brewing out of Durango, Colorado is finally available in Missouri. Seeing as how I am currently employed somewhere that carries the product, I've been able to try quite a few of their brews (7 to be exact) and decided to throw some of my half-assed reviews of their product out into the interwebz. Nothing is mind-blowingly awesome, but the majority of their stuff is pretty solid so far. Outside of one or two beers, you're not going to be all that disappointed.

Here goes:

BUSTER NUT BROWN.

Outside of a cheeky name, this simply isn't all that good of a beer. Now, it's not that there is something that tastes bad, or off about the beer, it's just a watered down version of the style, in my opinion. There's a nice, dark, brown sugar/molasses, and toasted sweetness to it, and a noticeable nutiness, but it's just too thin. I want a beer that relies on its sweetness to be thick enough to coat the tongue with the malt, and this has a dry, clean, crisp finish which just isn't what I think I want in a a brown ale. Those are good aspects to other beers, but that's why I drink those beers. When I want a good brown, I want something a bit fuller, a bit heavier and sweet, and a bit chewier....if that makes any sense. Now, like I said, nothing really tastes bad here, there just isn't enough of that "taste". It leaves you wanting quite a bit. Annoying, if you ask me. ANNOYING.

Half assed-verdict: 5/10.







TEN PIN PORTER.

All in all a solid porter. The porter seems to be a dying style, and something that too many breweries and drinkers don't really worry about any more. I'm not sure if it's because nobody likes the style all that much, or that most breweries brew porters that are just so close to their milk stouts or regular stouts that they (brewers and drinkers) say "screw it" and not worry about making one. We'll talk about the differences between porters and stouts some other time. Either way, this is a solid porter. I like porters to be sweet (caramel sweet), a touch of roast, and just a hint of hop bitterness in the finish. This has that, maybe a touch too sweet. It's a got a good chewy-ness to the malt, which I like, and while drinkable, is a nice, filling beer. If you like porters, this ain't too bad.

Half-assed verdict: 6.5/10



PINSTRIPE RED ALE.

Dang good red ale. Not quite to the level of North Coast's Red Seal Ale, (at least in my opinion) it's a really solid red. I'm not looking for a red ale to blow me away with any sort of flavor, or have something really stand out by itself, I'm just looking for a well balanced ale. I want a good chewy-malt-sweet presence, and a good clean, bitter finish. A nice balance with a noticeable, firm presence on the tongue (thus, the "chewy" comment). This gets pretty close. I paired it with some of my super bad ass homemade buffalo wings, and it was perfect. There is enough malt to sit heavy on the tongue, sort of coating it, but it finishes with just enough clean bitterness to get you ready for your next wing. It's never too sweet and never too bitter. It might even fair to say that it's just a good pale ale, whatever you want to call it. If you want a solid session beer, something to throw back with burgers or wings while watching the game, this isn't a bad choice.

Half-assed verdict: 7/10


STEEL TOE MILK STOUT.

Decent, not great stout. Now, I guess I should call it a decent "milk stout", because that's a bit different than a normal stout. Milk stouts are supposed to be a touch sweeter, and this one is good, in that there is still some good roast there, but it's possibly a touch too sweet for me. It's got a good look to it, and a good consistency, but the finish has this grainy aspect.....not in the sense of barley or hops, but grainy like grains of sugar. It's a bit of a weird sensation that I usually don't pick up on. It's pretty much the only part of the beer that puts me off as it's not bad up til that point. Of course I say all this and I realize that this is my subjective taste. It's not bad, really, nothing really makes you do a funny face thing, it's just that the finish is a bit sugary sweet for my taste.....but I can't lie, it's not like it's over the top. It is a decent milk stout, maybe just a step below, say the Left Hand Milk Stout. I'm curious to give this a shot on tap, that might help.

Half-assed review: 6/10




ESB SPECIAL ALE.

Not a bad ESB. ESBs, I think are becoming like porters. They kind of meander over into pale ale territory so much that people forget about them as being their own thing. That's fine, as I guess the label doesn't matter if it's a good brew. This was weird as the first 1/3 of the can (yes it's in a can, more on that later......and don't worry I poured it into a glass) was all bitter, and nothing else, kind of unpleasant. So I didn't pay attention to it for about 10 minutes. I came back and the beer changed quite a bit and the malt did it's job. The bitterness is still king (ESB = Extra Special Bitter), but it's malt friend provided a touch of backup. Yes, I'm going to use the word "chewy" again, in that that's what it did. I like the "chewy adjective, and if you have a problem....screw off. The malt gave it a good touch of balance, but still allowing the hops to do it's thing. The hops are more of a dry, floral variety. There's not a huge smack of grapefruit and pine on the lips, and instead they're a touch more flowery and just a bit leafy/grassy. They really are more of a bittering agent in this brew. This would be a really good session beer. We'll get to the can thing a bit on the way down.

Half-assed verdict: 6.5/10


DECADENT IMPERIAL IPA.

Not sure what to think of this beer. When you think "Imperial IPA", you think that you are going to be Karate Kid-ed in the face with hops. That just isn't the case. There may be a ton of hops in this beer but it's so malted that you don't really notice them to level you think you would. Now, they are certainly there, mind you, but they really aren't the star of the show. This confuses me, as they (Ska, that is) are throwing around the whole "IPA" label. Many other beer nerds I've talked to agree with me almost instantaneously in that this beer is a huge malt bomb, that happens to be a bit hopped up. So yes, it is very sweet. Almost too sweet. But, I will say this, once I get over the fact that I should be less worried about what this beer is labeled as, and focus on whether or not I like it, I kind of enjoy the brew. I prefer malt over hops, so after this guy warms up a touch, and you get through the first half of the glass and realize it isn't a hop bomb....it's not all that bad. It's certainly sweet and malt heavy, but there is still enough hop presence (duh) that it doesn't kill you. You just can't come in thinking you're in for a huge hop-kick to the head, cuz it won't happen. It's a good smooth maltiness, slightly syrupy at times, but it doesn't have a cavity-inducing sweetness to it. There's s touch of spice involved that helps out the balance as well. So, if you can get over what this beer is labeled, and just drink it, I think you can enjoy it.

Half-assed verdict: 7/10



MODUS HOPERANDI IPA.

I guess I'm lame, but I think that's a cool as shit name for a beer. Further more, this is an above average IPA. About the whole "it being in a can" thing, well, you're going to have to deal with it. Just like I want beer wussies to realize that dark beer doesn't = bad beer....beer nerds/snobs need to realize that the can is a good vessel for a beer. (read here, a can may actually keep the product fresher). This brew, and the ESB, as far as I know, come only in cans. And yes, I've had it out of a can as well and it tastes mighty fan, no weird metallic flavors at all. Alright, all that being said, this is a good IPA. It doesn't back off from being afraid of being too bitter, but it does do a nice job of staying balanced, and slightly fruity-sweet. There is a good mixture of sweetness from a good malt backbone, and a nice kick of grapefruit up front. The bitterness in the end is the amount of bitterness you want and expect from an IPA. It's there, it's certainly bitter, but the bitterness doesn't hang on too long, and while it's bigger than the malt, it doesn't kick the malt's ass. This is a good thing. It's a nice IPA to drink, in my opinion. A really great version of the style.

Half-assed review: 7.5/10

I'm a beer nerd, not a snob.

Am I (are you) a "beer snob" or merely a "beer nerd"? I consider myself the latter, but it seems that a number of people nowadays prefer to call me a "beer snob" as if I take some sort of offense to what they are drinking, especially if they were to have the audacity to offer me a bud light or the like. I may not like what they offer, but to assume I am offended by this is completely off base.

Let's start with the very base of the discussion, Webster's Dictionary (online) defines a "snob" as either: (1) one who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors; (2) one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior; or (3) one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste.

Keep that in mind and we'll get back to the definition later and see where I stand........

Now before I figure out where I fit, let me describe my love for beer in the most objective way possible. I have a general love for all things "taste" related....probably my favorite sense. I specifically use that love of taste in how it relates to beer. Just like many people prefer a higher quality of any sort of items in life, I prefer a higher quality of beer, and ultimately have little problem with paying for that quality. Much like a New York strip purchased from a reputable butcher is better than the 8.99 steak and buffet meal at Ponderosa, often times there is a distinct difference in quality in the beer I choose to drink and the beer made by companies such as Anheuser Busch, Miller, Coors, etc. This is a fact. Beer, in it's purest form is water, barley-malt, hops, and yeast. It is also a fact that things such as malt from rice or corn is cheaper than barley-malt, and is thus used by larger breweries to be able to produce a cheaper product. Beers that are more expensive avoid adding ingredients for purposes of making a less expensive product (although they add stuff to them to enhance flavor from time to time), and it can be argued that they are truer "beers" in the sense that they subscribe to traditional brewing techniques, as opposed to changing their recipes for pricing reasons. (Don't let AB tell you the other ingredients are to add "smoothness"....kiss my ass.) Needless to say, I prefer the taste of beers that are brewed with the proper ingredients, which often times leads to an increase in price. Of course, as I have shown, food and drinks made with higher quality ingredients often taste better.

As I said before, I subjectively consider myself a "beer nerd", but that's just me. I'm also going to be honest, and get into "dick" mode here: In my opinion, a majority of what is sold as "beer" and what is drank in this country sucks, period. Budweiser isn't very good, Bud Light sucks, Bud Select sucks even more, and Michelob Ultra is out of the realm of "beer" and reaches a level of suck not yet known to man. Outside of Budweiser (or MGD, or Coors for that matter), which I don't mind all that much, 95% percent of "macro-brews" pretty much suck ass. I guess that might throw me into "snob" category, but I'm just being honest. I'm not saying you can't drink them, or that you or others are stupid for what you like. I don't understand why you like something that tastes like watered down corn syrup.....but that's just me. I imagine you probably don't understand why I do a lot of the crap I do with my beer

So now that we have my reasoning out of the way, let's re-visit the definition I posted. I think it's fairly obvious, of the three possibilities listed, that #2 probably best describes my thought process when it comes to beer. I guess by definition that makes me a "snob". That's fine, on it's face, it's just that my problem with the terminology is that those who prefer a higher quality of numerous other products don't get the word "snob" thrown at them nearly as often. So while I already threw the text book definition of the word at you, I'm still going to insist that I am not a snob in how the current word is used, and instead I am a "nerd".

I'll even take this up a notch (with the help of anecdotal evidence) and suggest that swill drinkers can demonstrate a greater level of snobbery, if not more, than a beer snob. A beer snob/nerd generally knows his audience, and his surroundings. If you come into the bar where I work, you can snob it up all you want as we portray ourselves as an establishment that serves high end beer the way it was meant to be served.....proper glassware and whatnot. I am fully aware that 98% of the bars I walk into aren't going to serve their beer in such a manner (even if they have a few good offerings) and unless I'm fairly certain that they will, I'll usually just take what I can get.

Now, for the anecdotal evidence:

I have, numerous times in my bar, experienced a customer become upset at the fact that we do not serve "domestic beer" (as in Budweiser.......even though we carry hundreds of American brews, idiot), and also that we do not serve our beer cold enough, or offer frosted mugs. I have seen people become confused at those facts, and some insist that we are hurting our business because of these two things.

Things I have NEVER done at an establishment where I am not certain about the quality of the beer: complained to the staff or other surrounding customers/strangers about glassware, serving temperature, or poor selection. It is what it is. The farthest I have gone is politely asking if I can get my beer in a non-frosted glass. If that's not an option and if my pale ale has ice chunks floating in it like every other beer poured at the bar, then so be it. I don't think I've ever said a word to a bartender/server after the fact if my brew is given to me ice cold. What I have seen....however, on MULTIPLE occasions, is a customer becoming incensed at the fact that their beer isn't ice cold, and being irritated that they didn't get a frosted glass. I've seen beers returned, and I've seen noses turned up to a bud light that isn't cold enough to get your tongue stuck to. Yet, once again, I'm the snob. I just paid 6 dollars for a Blvd. Pale Ale with chunks of ice floating at the top, but your 3 dollar bud select is above 35 degrees and you want a new one. I fail to see how I'm the douche bag in this scenario. But whatever.

Another prime example is the MULTIPLE times that I have been given hell from family members, bartenders, serving staff, and sometimes complete d-bag strangers about my beer choice. I've seen serving staff get pissy at my mere polite ordering of something not starting with the word "bud", and I've had complete strangers huff and puff over my request for something that is located in the cooler at the other end of the bar. God forbid they have to wait 4 extra seconds to get their 16oz aluminum bottle of michelob ultra. I've even had a guy look at me and go "dude, just order a bud light", when I let him cut in front of me at a bar because I simply told him to "go ahead man, I'm still checking out the selection". Once again, I'm the asshole, right? This also happens to me among family members during large family get-togethers. They bring a cooler of what they want to drink, and I bring what I like to drink. I say not one word about what they have decided to enjoy, and yet I hear endless shit for my drink. I get shit about the glassware, the color, and of course the price. Once again, my instigation of this consists of nothing more than me having the audacity to do exactly what they are doing: drinking what I want to drink. Yep, I'm still the asshole.

99.9% of the time, I don't antagonize random strangers in a bar, and I don't say a word to family members unless asked. Now if I get a "why are you drinking that" then I'll be honest and say that I prefer it to XXXX, but rarely if ever will I step up a stranger or an extended member of my family and instigate any sort of "snobbery". And as I have just said, I have received much more flak than I have ever dealt to these folks.

Why is that? Is the presence of my beer insulting to them? Is it akin to wiping my ass with the American flag or kicking a baby? I honestly have no clue. We all wear different clothes, have different houses, drive different cars, and make a myriad of other decisions that say a lot more about us than the beer we choose to drink, yet I am 100% honest when I say that there are people out there that immediately get on the defensive when I have something in my hands that's not fizzy yellow water.

Now, I'm fully aware that the mere presence of this blog is slightly contradictory to this entire rant, but as I said before, I try to be aware of my surroundings when douching it up beer-wise. I'm not so retarded as to antagonize random passer-bys because of their beer choice. Yet, as I've said, it's happened to me on numerous occasions and will certainly happen again.

So I say DRINK WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, and so will I. Just keep your piss-water away from me and I'll keep my stuff away from you.

Cheers.

Bear Republic - Hop Rod Rye

Seeing as how the last beer I had was something sort of special that you can't get in the Midwest....or many other places for that matter, I figured I'd taste something that you can see at a high percentage of decent liquor stores/beer shops in the MW.

That being said, this isn't some POS beer that I just had lying around. This beer is up there as far as favorites are concerned, and certainly one of my top 5 or so pale ales/IPAs. It is a bit weird though, this beer has the kind of the Kenny G distinction, where it's super highly rated by most rating services (#81 overall on Beer Advocate, and #22 Double IPA on RateBeer), yet I run into a lot of fellow beer nerds, including the lame "hop heads" that for whatever reason won't own up to actually liking the beer. I don't get it.

Oh well, here goes:

This one is a 12oz bottle poured into a simple pint glass. Most of the time you see this, it comes in 22oz bombers, but you can occasionally see 4 packs of 12 ouncers. A 22oz guy will probably run you about 4.5-5 bucks. The bottle's label is different, so that's good, but it is a touch lame with the old hot rod on the front. It calls the beer a "specialty ale", and let's me know that it's 8% abv. Not a huge amount of booze, but most likely enough to notice the malt.

An easy pour gives me a 2 finger light-tan head in my KU Alumni pint glass. The head lasts for a reasonable amount of time and leaves a pretty think soapiness on top. Great, sticky lacing clings to the side. The smell is equal amount hops and malt, with a touch of alcohol. Hops are very typical, with a little grapefruit and just a little pine, nothing over the top. Malt is doughy, crackery, and the rye malt comes in with just a little spice. None of the characteristics seem too overwhelming. The smell allows you to believe that this is a well balanced beer.

This one has been sitting out for a bit, so it's not too cold, which I think this would be nice to allow the rye (malt) to come through. This is by all means a "heavy" beer. Big and chewy....yum. You know, it's actually hard to get a true separation of the flavors here......and distinct flavors is something I usually like, but for some reason in this one, it works. The sweetness of the malt barely sneaks in first, coats the tongue a touch, then you get a nice piney-citrus rind hop, followed by a really good touch of spice from the rye that hits you right as the hop bitterness does the same. The bitterness remains a touch after the spicy rye but it's never overpowering. If there was one word describing this brew, it would be "balance". This is possibly the epitome of the word.

This is just simply a top-notch crafted beer. As I've said many times I don't go nuts over hops, but I do like them when they are not the main show of a beer. This beer is certainly equal part hops and equal part malt (with 18% rye malt, according to the bottle), and they compliment each other very nicely. Never once in the beer does one characteristic dominate the other, and where the hops would leave their mark with an overly bitter finish, the rye comes in and finishes with a good dry spice instead of overwhelming bitterness.

At the end of the day, this isn't beer-gasm-esque as far as flavor is concerned.....although it has a phenomenal taste. This beer has top notch flavor, with top notch balance, which gives it a top notch drinkability for something with a ton of malt, hops and 8% alcohol. For that reason I am giving it an uber-high rating. For you hop-head d-bags out there that want nothing more than mouth puckering grapefruit and razor sharp pine bitterness............eat it. This is a bad as beer, and all the haters can eat a big one.

Verdict: 9/10

Suck it.

Pliny the mother-****** Elder

Ok, it's just "Pliny The Elder", but it's not often that some poor guy like me gets one of the highest rated IPAs on the planet out in the midwest. (#7 on Beer advocate, and #3 Double IPA on ratebeer.com). I took my nerd-dom to a new level and did a beer exchange with a fellow beer nerd who happens to live in Portland, OR. He sent me a bevy of top notch stuff I can't get out here, including the aforementioned PtE, and I'm hoping to return the favor sometime soon. Needless to say, you cannot find this brew out in the midwest, but if you ever get a chance out west, go for it.

Either way, the arrival of the package, which had the beautiful bottle of Pliny sitting on top was borderline "big O" inducing. It was almost a beer-gasm before I even tasted the beer...which definitely would have been a first. Now, I don't go absolutely ape-shit over IPAs, in general, but I do like beers of all styles in the sense that I really enjoy drinking anything that is really well crafted. I figured this wasn't highly rated because it was some obnoxious kick to the head in hops, but because it was still an uber-hopped beer that was well balanced, and well put together. This was all true.

So, let's review, shall we:

As far as I know, this only comes in the 16.9 oz bottle, like the one I received (outside of a few chances to find it on tap in the NW USA). Pretty cool, simple label, brewed by the Russian River Brewing Company out of Santa Rosa California. Looks like this one comes in at 8% abv, which will no doubt help the drinkability, as some big IPAs can get to the 10% level or plus...and that's a bit much even for a big dog like this. The most interesting part about this beauty, however, is that all over the bottle are statements pleading with you to drink the beer fresh, don't age it, and keep it cold. A lot of beer guys, like myself, get their hands on the good stuff whenever they can, regardless of whether they'll drink it right away. We'll grab it, throw it in a dark, cool area, and figure since it's probably a high abv beer, that it will age. Not this guy, they emplore you to drink it ASAP: "Consume Pliny fresh or not at all." This one was bottled on 3/22/10, so I think I was alright.

Beer pours a pretty cool heavy golden-orange. It's murky (not sediment, just thick), and looks really chewy...in a good way. Decent finger or so of bright white head, and as with most good IPAs, some really nice lacing. I was drinking it out of my mini La Trappe chalice/snifter thing.

Smell is of course, initially citrus dominated...but not just grapefruit. There are also some oranges, maybe a beat of peach and apricot, and a little whiff of alcohol presence. I'm getting to the point where I don't think that's a bad thing, anymore as long as it's just a touch. If done right a nice twinge of boos brings it all together. It's still a touch cold, but there is a nice doughy malt in the nose, some biscuity goodness.

Taste is a big fruity, citrus smack, just like in the smell. The fruit comes and goes kind of quickly and lets a decent amount of that malt in there. The malt though, also finishes crisp and extremely clean. And maybe the most interesting part of the drink is the hop bitterness, which comes literally like 2-3 seconds after the drink. The sensation with the bitterness is really cool. None of the flavors are extremely top notch (although the fruitiness of the hops is really nice and crisp, never overwhelming or too coating on the tongue), but the real great thing about this taste is the way it is layered. There is a very distinct 3-4 taste sensations, which is, in my opinion, what often separates the really great brews from the rest of them.

End of the day, this is really a top notch beer. I'm not going to go nuts on my rating because IPAs simply aren't my favorite style. I am really enjoying them more and more each day, but I still don't crave them like a top notch quad, or even an impy-stout. But, regardless of what you like, you have to absolutely appreciate that elite craftsmanship of this brew. The flavors are layered, balanced, and never overpowering.

Verdict: 8.5/10

Cheers, bitchez.

Half-Assed Reviews - 5/11/10

Well, I figured it'd be time for another one of these. I've tried some stuff while drinking out recently that I thought was worthy of noting, but wasn't in a situation where I couldn't completely get down with a real review. Some of these beers have been good, some have been average, some really freaking good, and some downright awful. I'm going from memory here so don't take this stuff as bible,.....whereas you should take any other beer I have reviewed as the quintessential, end all be all of beer reviews. (sarcasm) But, this should be a decent enough assessment to give you AT LEAST a "suck" or "not suck".

Avery IPA

No gimmicky name here, just their India Pale Ale. There is also no gimmick in how I will discuss this beer....in that it sucks, hard. This is an extremely bad beer. I had this 5-6 months ago in Kansas City and it was so bad that I thought it was a bad keg, or something had contaminated the lines, the keg, or even the glass. So I had it again where I worked and it was equally awful, possibly even worse. I understand that there are pine characteristics in a lot of hoppy beers, but this is honestly like drinking pine solve.....the cleaner. No malt balance, no characteristics of apricot, grapefruit, or anything, just pine. I'm not a major hop guy, but I certainly appreciate well-crafted IPAs....but this is not one of them. This is a really bad beer, regardless of style. If you're like me, and you don't like things that suck, stay away from this. However, if you like things that do, in fact suck, then give it a go.

Half-assed verdict: 2/10


O'Fallon Wee-Heavy

From what I can tell this isn't bottled.....yet. Which is too bad, because this is an extremely good beer. I was thinking it was gonna be a big malt bomb as it's a "Wee-Heavy". The maltiness and sweetness is certainly there, (it's 10% abv) but it has all sorts of yummy complexity going on. It has vanilla, some bourbony-booze, chocolate, a nice warming alcohol, some caramel, and a scotchy/peaty sort of smoke note going on which is really freaking cool. Not that it's a knock on O'Fallon as a brewery, but I was NOT expecting something anywhere near this good. The alcohol is certainly there, it's not hidden at all, but it's a good thing. This is a sipper, and almost has a liqueur like quality. It takes a while to put down an entire glass but it's worth the time. I certainly hope that O'Fallon puts this in bottles soon as I can imagine this could get very interesting with a year or two of age on it. If you see it on tap anywhere or in bottles sometime in the future....I highly recommend. Oh, and this thing really needs to warm up a touch or else you miss out on a fair amount of its surprising complexity. Giggity.

Half-assed verdict 9/10

Lagunitas "Undercover Investigation Shut-down Ale"

Apparently there's a story behind the huge name....something about them having to shut down for 20 days after an absolutely epic party. Who knows. Have you ever had The Lagunitas WTF (Wilco Tango Foxtrot)? It's basically a ramped up version of that beer. A big brown ale that's got a touch more malt in it but a bunch more hops. The sweet and the bitter play off of each other really nicely, and there's a touch of some sort of spice in there.....allspice? I've seen some reviews that suggest cinnamon...but I'm not sure. The bitterness isn't to sharp and is a nice mix if floral/citrus/pine, and is just enough to clean up what is otherwise a fairly sweet brew. Mixed up styles like this can really be winners if they strive for balance, as opposed to weird hair-raising tastes......and this does just that. Beer websites have this as an "American Strong Ale", but I would just call it a hopped up, big brown ale, because that's what it is. I find a lot of times the "American Strong Ale" is just a cop out to find an easier name for something that's unique with a big(ger) malt profile and somewhat higher ABV. Either way, this isn't a drop-dead gorgeous beer, but it's very good, very well balanced, and very fun to drink. Giddy-up.

Half-assed verdict 8/10

Founders Double Trouble (Imperial IPA)

Hello there, been awhile and I probably am behind a review or two. Oh well.....not like I'm getting paid for this. I've been drinking plenty of beers (often new ones), but very few of them have been at home, and as per my previous "beer-gasm" post, I have a hard time going 100% beer nerd when drinking in public. At least not to the point where I can take notes and what not to the point where I can write a proper review. So, here goes....again.

I've never been a huge IPA guy, not in that I'm anti-hops, but just anti beer being overhopped...which happens quite often nowadays. That's not to say I don't like the good ones, and seeing as how Founder's makes quite a few good "big" beers, I decided to give this one a try. I got it at Friar Tucks at Highway K and 40 in O'fallon, and it wasn't freaky-deaky expensive, at 8.99 for a 4 pack. Certainly not cheap, but in terms of Double-IPAs...nothing to freak out over.

12 oz. squatty botottle poured into a La Chouffe tulip. I figured something with a ton of hops in it could use something to help with the aroma. Bottle says 9.4% ABV as well as 86 IBUs (definition), and as with many Founders brews, it has a pretty snazzy label.

Pours a real pretty, hazy amber-orange. Aggressive pour gives it some decent head (that's what she said) but it goes down to a soap ring awfully quickly. As foam goes down it leaves some really nice sticky lacing, as well. The nose on this thing is brilliant. Big juicy grapefruit...not just like grapefruit zest but like big hunks of freshly cut fruit, floral notes of pine, sweet malt, spicy alcohol. Not quite as juicy as Bell's Hop Slam, but still great.

Taste.........sharp, bitter, piney. I let the beer sit across the middle of my tongue for a little longer and get a touch more of the malt backbone, but the finish is still just a *touch* harsh. If you let it sit on the tongue for while you can pick of the grapefruit, but the second you swallow it you get walloped with the pine and grass a sharp kick of bitterness that coats the whole tongue. The alcohol finishes and joins the sharp bitterness in the aftertaste. The bitterness is tempere as it warms, and the malt does a better job of coating the tongue. The warmth gets it a bit more booziness and grapefruit character and takes away from it being so bitter. Word to the wise: definitely let this warm up a touch. I mean.....you can drink it cold(er) off the bat, but give it a chance to warm up and you'll see that it certainly softens it quite a bit and makes it exceedingly easier to drink.

Well, I cant' stress it enough, letting this one get about 5 or so degrees warmer turned this from a so-so beer into a "good" beer. It goes from bitter and astringent on your tongue to a bit more soft, malty, sweet, before a more reasonable amount of hop-bitterness takes over. The hops are there, don't get me wrong. 86 IBUs and the amount of hops on here won't ever go away, the warmth just lets the sweetness to otherwise come into play to temper the hops and keep it from being too sharp on the tongue. (have I used the word "sharp" enough?......christ)

All that said, this is certainly a "good" beer, but I'm not sure it gets above that. I enjoyed it, and there is plenty going on to make it interesting to drink. A little warmth makes it easier on the tongue and somewhat more enjoyable. It's not a smooth as it could be, and it still could be a touch less harsh. Now, that could be me not being a big hop-head, or that could be a reasonable issue with the beer....who knows. The alcohol is a bout right, it's not kicking your ass but it certainly is present. Fun to drink, but maybe some bigger IPAs that I'd take/suggest before this one. There still needs to be a little more balance. Still a solid offering from a top-notch brewery.

Verdict you say???: 7/10

BEERGASM. (I'll have what he's having)

So, I was at work speaking with a co-worker (fellow beer nerd) and we were talking about one of our favorite beers Schneider Aventinus (weizen bock) and she made it a point to tell me how it was the first ever beer that gave her her first ever "beer-gasm". I was taken back by the statement at first......but then I thought about it for a while. After some deep thought, I was able to think back to a handful of times in my life where I believe I had legitimate beergasms, similar to what she spoke of.

How can I describe the "beergasm"? I don't think it's the violent "turtle-necking" situation that is associated with the other "gasm", but I do believe it is a full body experience. Let's face it, alcohol is a drug (no shit) and it can affect you as such. While it doesn't offer the immediate euphoria of something like heroine or cocaine, there are those times where I do get all tingly, and what not. I remember watching the A&E show "Intervention" one time, and a heroin addict was describing how when they shoot up it's like a massive calm all of the sudden hits them and it slowly goes from their heads, all the way down to their toes. Well, I'm not going to lie and say that doesn't happen to me every now and then when I get a top notch beer,...........because it does happen. Now, it's not like that with every beer, and I'm not "chasing that high" every day, but when it does happen, I really like to sit back, remain motionless, not talk to anyone.....and just let out a big ol' "ahhhhhhh". Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't ask me "is it good?". Just let me *be* for 5 minutes and bask in my complete, euphoric, beergasmness.

How does it start/How do I get there? Well it needs to be a "big beer", generally a Belgian, an imperial stout, or the occasional big barleywine. It needs to be something with a lot of stuff going on. I'd say I've reached beergasm through Belgians more than anything else. The setting has to be right, you have to be in the mood to get the beergasm, and you have to be excited for the possibility. I'm not trying for a lame pun, but it's like when you eat something that "really hits the spot". I am in the mood and in the position (hehehe) to sit down and really relax and drink my beer, and appreciate all its yumminess. I don't think I've ever beergasm'd in a bar or at a friends house, or at a party of any sort. And while I'm sure they've happened, I also can't think of any recent beergasms with anyone else in the room. A beergasm is a special moment between a man and his beer.

Recent: Beergasms:

What: Achel Extra
Where: My room in Maastricht, The Netherlands, May-ish 2009.

I was treating myself to either an after finals, or an after thesis treat and was just relaxing in my room watching a movie on my laptop. I took a sip and proceeded to melt into my chair and become unconscious for the next 10 minutes. Time and space seemed to lapse momentarily. When I came to, I wasn't sure where I was, my hair was matted, my shirt untucked, and I was only wearing one sock. My glass was half empty and I assumed that I was the one who drank it....but who knows? I felt like I just had a really nice, comfortable nap on a cool, fall day. You know the one where you are awake in your head, but your muscles are telling you to just lay down for another half an hour or so? Yeah, that's the one.


What: JW Lees Harvest Ale (2000)
Where: Living room, writing on my blog. Weldon Spring, Missouri. February 2010.

Wanted something top notch to start off the blog (read the post here) and went ahead and spent 8 bucks on a 12 ounce bottle of beer. I didn't pass out from this, as it was more of a tear-filled, heavily involved, beergasm. Every sense was tuned in as I tasted something like 232423098 different flavors, with a new one seemingly popping in with every sip. It was complex, it was smooth, it was boozy, it was warming, and it was pure velvet. It was worth every penny, and lived up to every single review and expectation I had. I remember my arms were flailing out in front of me, like I was reaching for something with my eyes closed, but I just kept only coming up with air. It was exhausting to say the least, but I believe I came through the experience a better man and a better beer drinker.

I'm not sure if any of you have been there, or if any of you love beer enough to ever reach the pinnacle of beer satisfaction. It doesn't happen often, and it's not something you can force. The stars have to align and have to just allow nature to take it's course. It may hurt at first, and it may not last as long as you would want, but I can assure you it will only get better. I wish I could predict when exactly it would happen, but I've had enough beer to know that it's hard to predict it, or even expect it. Oh well.

So there you have it, I've tried my best to put you into the mind of someone having a beergasm, and I only hope that you can either relate, or have your first one, soon. It is a beautiful thing.

Unibroue - La Fin Du Monde

Ahh yes, one of my favorite beers. Word to the wise....nearly anything Unibroue makes (outside of their fruit flavored stuff) is good. As far as North American breweries that make a large amount of traditional Belgian-style beers......Unibroue might be the best. Better yet, they are becoming easier and easier to find, as I generally buy mine at Dierberg's grocery stores in the St. Louis area. Also, it's generally a lot cheaper than the authentic belgians, as a 750ml bottle can usually be found for around 7 bucks, and a 4 pack for around 10 bucks. Finally, I try to use this as a sort of "gateway beer" when I want to get someone to step up from good beer, to high level Belgian ales. You'll freak someone out if you give them this after they've been sucking down Bud Light Lime for awhile, but if a person can stomach real beer, especially wheats, have them step up and give this a shot.

I usually do the 750ml bottles for Belgians, but my circumstances required me to settle for a four pack of 12oz bottles. Cool bottle with La Fin Du Monde on the label (meaning: "end of the world"). Bottle says 9% abv and I'm pouring it into a La Chouffe tulip as the bottle has a picture recommending a tulip shaped glass. (A lot of good beers will have a picture of both the glassware that should be used, as well as the proper serving temperature) I'm serving this at around 45 degrees F. Beer Advocate calls this a "tripel", but I think it might just be a "belgian strong ale", as I find a lot of tripels to be a touch more bitter than this. But calling it a tripel isn't completely retarded.

Pours a real cloudy, orangy-golden color. A 2 finger white head comes in but goes back quickly to a decent soapiness. Pretty good amount of bubbles as well. Very murky beer. Looks almost chewy......which is a good thing. There's certainly sediment in this beer, but I haven't poured any of it out into the glass, yet.

Smell is citrus, lemon zest, orange juice, and bubble gum like you'd find in a wheat. From the look and the first smell, you'd almost think this was a wheat beer. There's a touch of spice in there, apparently they brew it with coriander, which may give it that spiciness. This is why I wouldn't call it a "tripel" as all this sweetness isn't usually found. No alcohol in the nose.

First drink is bubbly, citrusy, heavy and chewy, and with more of a booze presence than you get in the smell. It starts with a sharp, refreshing carbonation on your tongue, then you get a bit of an orange peel sensation on the middle of your tongue....but that doesn't last very long. The "chewiness" comes next with a nice, heavy dose of malt on the sides of your tongue, and you get a nice warming booze in the finish. The spice (coriander) is in the aftertaste for me. It's way too heavy and high in abv to be "refreshing", but it does have a certain crispness to it, that probably comes from the carbonation and the nice spice at the end. As it gets a bit warmer the orange starts to turn into a touch of lemon. There is a touch of dryness with the alcohol in the finish, but there isn't a ton of bitterness or hop presence. The hops are there in the background no doubt, but that's not the point of this beer.

This is a very very tasty beer. There are a lot of fun little subtleties in it, and you almost forget that it's a really top notch, well crafted beer whenever I drink it, due to the fact that it's becoming easier to find and it's reasonably priced. For top notch golden Belgian ales (tripel or not) it's hard not to put this among some of the top notch ones, even the authentic ones. This is well thought out, well crafted beer that's complex enough to be fun to drink, but never overwhelming. For having a ton of malt, they don't try to hide the sweetness, but keep it reasonable with letting you get different sensations of citrus, banana, wheat, and top it off with a present but balanced alcohol.

Me likey.

Verdict: 8.5/10

Summer Beers that don't suck.

Alrighty, I know it's not summer quite YET, but the weather is getting nicer, and outdoor activities will only increase in the coming weeks and months. For that you need to make sure you prepare yourselves accordingly. That means you need to get your hands on the best summer-brews possible. I got a handful here that I'm going to recommend that I think fit the "summer beer" mold quite well. Now remember, some of you guys think you are drinking "light" beer because of the color of these brews, or because it's a crisper, fruitier taste on your tongue........which is only half true. I guess you could call the taste of these beers "light", but in terms of calories or filling you up, these beers are no lighter than the the "darker" beers that you believe to be heavier. But that shouldn't be a problem, as if you are reading this you probably abhor shitty light beer and realize that all good beer is going to be "heavy" and high in calories. It's just a fact of life.

If I'm getting a beer for an outdoor event on a nice day, BBQ, whatever......I'm looking for the following characteristics:

Crispness - the flavor doesn't sit and linger for a while, it makes you want to drink more and doesn't feel like it's bogging you down.

Citrus - I like a touch of citrus, where possible. This is usually refreshing and citrus isn't something that will linger for too long (see above).

Decent price - Summer brews are meant to be enjoyed outside, with friends, and most likely consumed more frequently than a really chewy, complex ale. I want to get my summer brews in six-packs (at least) as I plan on having more than 1-2 at a time.

Simplicity - Kind of like crispness, these aren't beers I want to drink while sitting inside while agonizing over every little detail of the brew. I'm not looking (as hard) for hidden flavors, or things to open up as they get warmer. I want a good, clean flavor, but nothing that's going to require a ton of thought.

Drinkability - This goes with all the other characteristics from above, but I want something I can have 4-5 of and not be (a) shitfaced and (b) so overwhelmed with the flavor where I need to start drinking water or have to switch up styles. ABV under 6% is a must here.

So now that we have THAT out of the way, here's a list of stuff I think are "musts" for the summer.

BELL'S-OBERON ALE

Absolutely fabulous beer, and one of the, if not THE best spring/summer beer around. It's a wheat beer, but I believe it's brewed with some more traditional "ale" characteristics as well, and you get just a hint more hop bitterness in the finish than you would in a normal wheat. It has a touch of citrus notes to it and all the characteristics you look for in a good summer wheat such as the aforementioned citrus, as well as a nice refreshing crispness in every sip. There's not too much flavor that's going to overpower you, but they do a nice job of keeping it really drinkable while keeping a great, full taste. Remember, a lot of these beers are meant to be had 3-4 at a time, so they aren't made to be overwhelming. This isn't a ridiculously hard to find beer, but it's not going to be at too many grocery stores, either. I'd say if a place has a "good" beer selection, they'd have this available. It's usually around 10 bucks a six pack, give or take a dollar. There's a touch more alcohol in this as it's 5.8% abv, but you're not going to notice it unless you polish off a whole six pack by yourself, which is entirely possible at a barbecue/picnic.


HOEGAARDEN - ORIGINAL WHITE

The original Belgian Wit. Stop drinking Blue Moon, and drink the beer that Blue Moon tried to emulate. This beer is a quintessential Belgian White (wheat beer). Citrusy, refreshing with hints of lemon and orange, smooth but with enough carbonation to keep it crisp. If you think about it, you can also pick up a bit of peppery bitterness to it as well which gives it a touch of unique character. It's certainly on the sweet and possibly, at times, "sour" side of things, but it's not all that over-powering. Very drinkable with a ton of flavor, and one of the beers that I would actually recommend serving a bit colder than most top notch brews. This is becoming easier and easier to find and it's even becoming pretty fairly priced. I picked my last sixer up from a grocery store for only 8 bucks, which is about what Blue Moon is being priced at. This is what a real Belgian White tastes like and you'll realize that after nearly 600 years of brewing, that Hoegaarden probably has their recipe pretty much locked in by now. You can put a lemon in this, if you want, but I have absolutely no clue why you'd need this any sweeter/lemony, unless you don't actually like the taste of beer and/or you suck at life.

SIERRA NEVADA-SUMMERFEST LAGER

This is listed on beeradvocate.com as a "Czech Pilsner" but I think they have their heads up their ass, and I'd call this a "Kolsch", instead. (Kolsch is essentially the German version of a "summer beer") This beer is all about being refreshing, crisp, and extremely drinkable. This is an extremely simple style, and they don't try to blow anything up your ass with any sort of weird characteristics. This style was essentially made for Germans to have something easy to drink in warmer weather, and drink a lot of it. There may be some citrus notes in there, not all that much fruitiness/sweetness, and the occasional fair amount of hop-bitterness that acts more as a refreshing bite than some sort of lingering notion. This particular take on a Kolsch is my personal favorite version of the style, and the most refreshing "beer" I've ever had. It's far far too easy to drink. If you ever want to get a macro-brew drinking friend to switch over from their usual swill, this may be the first beer I would recommend you to give them. If someone can't stomach this very simple, very refreshing beer, then they can just go to hell as it doesn't get any easier drinking than this.


SCHLAFLY-KOLSCH (you might see it some places as "Summer Kolsch"...same thing)

Yes, I know I already listed a Kolsch, but I think this is a pretty solid beer as well. This is very similar to the Sierra Nevada, but I think this one has just a touch more "going on". It's still very crisp, with some background notes of citrus, but I think this one maybe offers a little more maltiness which gives you a touch of deeper sweetness. I will be honest in that I think that this version is just a tiny, eensy-weensy step below the Sierra Nevada Summerfest but this is much easier to find as it's (a) produced not just in the summer and (b) carried by quite a few places in the Missour area. It's also fairly cheap as well, you can get it for the same price as pretty much any other Schlafly product......8 bucks or so per sixer. At the end of the day this is a great summer beer as it meets the criteria I listed above. I recommend.


Last but not least, I know I didn't get into HUGE beer nerd with this post as summer brews focus more on volume, but that doesn't mean that you have to be barbaric while drinking them. I'd still recommend the basic serving tips as in ALWAYS pour your beer into a glass whenever possible, and while these beers are going to be served a touch colder than your top-notch ales, by no means do you want to put them in a frosted glass. Once again, there is not one reputable brewer that will ever, in any circumstances, recommend that you drink their beer out of a bottle when there is glassware available.


Cheers, bitchez.

Michelob - Hop Hound, Amber Wheat

Well, I actually am giving an effort to try some of the "craft beers" that the big boys (namely Anheuser Busch) are putting out. This here would be the "Hop Hound" Amber Wheat that they say is made by Michelob....maybe to try and think it has more legitimacy than something made by Budweiser. Whatever. While I'm going to be objective with this beer, I am not going to go lightly on the god-awful label this thing has. Really? A dog with 1980's style sunglasses holding a fucking frisbee? You actually had someone that wasn't a 12 year old girl design this? Are you sure it wasn't from some freaking clip art file that came with the latest edition of Microsoft Works that was bundled with your new Dell? These are the same marketing guys that used to absolutely dominate commercials and billboards, a marketing team that would sometimes get as much recognition during the Super Bowl as the actual game itself. Now it's gone back to that powerhouse canine mentality that used to be the shit during the days of Spuds Mckenzie (2 decades ago).

Alright, the beer. 12oz bottle poured into a pint glass. Bottle says it's 5.3% alcohol and that it's essentially a wheat beer, but with a nice hop presence and a "caramel, malty taste". We'll see.

Pours a...not quite amber, but a bit darker than a normal wheat. A pretty good, fluffy, 2-finger, white head, stays for a fair amount of time. Color is closer to a pale ale, and it is a touch cloudy, which makes sense as the bottle says it's "unfiltered". There is a touch of sediment in the bottle as well which may add to the cloudiness if you pour it all in at once like I just did.

Smell is that of a wheat, not like a big hefeweizen, but almost a lighter version in that it still has some of the banana-like sweetness. Sweet wheat is there and it has just a touch of floral hops....maybe some grapefruit.

Taste is dominated by the malt. Not dominated as in it's super malty, just that it's what's the most present. In terms of what the bottle says to expect, they were right in that regard. There is a touch of hops in it as well, the bitterness really tries to get through, but its really hard to find. This beer is a sweet-wheat, and while the hops are "there" to call it hop-hound is a bit stupid in my opinion. There are a lot of wheat beers out there with a greater hop presence that don't try and tell you how hoppy they are. Finish is kinda ehhh....you'd think if a beer was pimping their hops that's what they'd finish with, but it's the malt that stays there and just slowly fades away. What's left on your tongue is the aftertaste of a "lighter" wheat beer. The overall taste is alright, not great or much above "ok". The only real part I can say I specifically want to avoid is the aftertaste.....it's this funky (bad funky) feeling like you get with a lot of AB products. Drinkable brew, though.

This isn't so bad, not all that "good" but not bad. I may, though like the Bud Light Golden Wheat a bit more than this though, as this is just as thin and light on the tongue, and I could probably drink more of the BL Golden Wheat if I wanted to pound all day at a barbecue or something. I wouldn't go out of your way to order it at a bar or drive around town finding it, but if it's on sale or on special at your drinking hole, then go for it.

Verdict: 5.5/10