Bell's Hopslam!!

People who know me know I'm not a mega-hop head. I definitely get annoyed by some of the "hops for the sake of hops" beers that are out there, but I can enjoy a good IPA, or even big IPA as much as the next guy. Also, this just got to my local liquor store today, so if you are reading this relatively soon after I made this post....get your ass on the phone and call your local retailer before it's too late as I can't imagine this lasting past the weekend. Also, get to your local (good) beer bar and see if and when they are carrying this on draft as they will only get a keg or two that will probably only last a couple of days.

Hopslam is a bit different for me in that it's one of the few, if not the only mega-hopped beer that I look forward to every year. It only comes out once a year and like most years I bug local liquor stores with phone calls and visits until I can get my hands a few sixers. There's just something different about this big brew that makes it really fun to drink. With a billion IBUs, and at 10% abv, it's never going to be something I want more than one or two of in a night, but it still goes down pretty easy for being the "bomb" that it is. So what's different about it?

Well, first of all, this might be the best smelling beer on the planet. Equal parts citrus, pine, honey, and biscuit. Big big big floral nose. So freaking yummy. Glade should make a potpourri out of this smell......they could make money with putting this in people's bathrooms.

Second, it's a Bell's product and they aren't hellbent on making un-approachable, pallet exploding beers like so many other craft breweries. This thing is still a hop-monster, but you can tell there is an attempt to make it smooth and drinkable. I think that's where the honey comes into play. So many big IPAs are loaded with malt because they need to do something to at least remotely balance out the hops. A lot of times that gives you big IPAs that can get a bit syrupy, , and overly sweet as they warm up. The honey gives this beer the needed balancing sweetness, but it does so without making it an all-too malt heavy brew. It's still not a session-beer, but it's not going to absolutely destroy your night after you have one.

Third and finally....it just tastes better than other big IPAs. All that yummy stuff you get in the nose, you get on the tongue as well. Big, juicy smack of grapefruit, a touch of pine, with some nice citrus-rind in the finish. All that initial kick of hops is mellowed with a touch of biscuity malt, and a nice hit of that honey that partially coats the tongue and makes it all the more smooth. It goes down obscenely easy for a beer that has the amount of ingredients that this one does.

Just a fun fun brew. Really cool beer to drink. Get your hands on one if you get the chance. Hell, I bought two-sixers and might even let you in on one if you have an interesting trade or I like you. Probably not, though.

Verdict: 9/10

Cheers, fools.

Half-Assed beer reviews: 1/1/2011

So unlike most, I'm not nursing too bad of a hangover today as I
worked til pretty late last night. I've decided to pop open some stuff in my cellar and throw out some half-assed reviews of some new(er) stuff I've tried recently, and stuff that I'm beginning to really enjoy and would like to recommend to some of my buddies that tell me they actually read this thing.

Fantome - Saison

I had this beer for the first time about a half year ago, and enjoyed it then. I've tried it a handful more times since and seem to like it more and more as I try it. I think initially you might call it a "sour", but I think it's more tart than sour. It's got a good tart/sweet bite, a little bit of funk, and it's nice and earthy/grassy which is what I really like in a Saison. It finishes very clean and with only minimal hop bitterness. It's refreshing, obscenely easy to drink, no characteristic is overpowering and everything plays nicely with each other. Like many of the brews I consider the "best", it practices the fine art of subtlety. I wouldn't put a new beer nerd on to this right away, but if you can get some good saisons under their belt, like Saison Dupont, or Boulevard's Tank 7, this might be a good next step. It also might be a good way to bridge the gap if you or someone else wants to try some of the more sour brews.

Be forewarned: A 750ml bottle of this usually runs around 14 bucks a pop, retail.

Half-assed verdict: 8.5/10

Boulevard - Amber Ale

I think most beer nerds see Amber Ales as kinda lame beers, and stuff that's left for the newbie who thinks they're branching out because "OMG, THIS IS A DARK BEER". I've been on that boat before, and too often roll my eyes when someone asks me for a good "Amber". Regardless, this is actually a really solid session brew. I'd be more than happy if this were the beer of choice for a Super Bowl party, or something similar. It's got a nice full body, a good mingling of sweet and bitter, and enough taste to make you want more, but not overpower you. I'd say the flavor profile is a bit of caramel up front, and just enough hops to give it a clean finish, nothing more. It's not meant to blow up your palate, and it's not meant at any one point to make you go "WOW". But if you click on the link (the session brew), that's the point of a session beer, you can put down a sixer and not be in a vomit-inducing state. Like many other Ambers, this one is still a good introduction to craft beer in that it's not too overpowering, or unapproachable, and the AB/Miller/Coors drinker can still say: "OMG, THIS IS A DARK BEER" which will make them happy.

Also helping the sessionability, this won't go for more than 8-9 bucks a sixer.

Half-assed verdict: 6.9999/10

Abita - Jackamo IPA

Abita is one of those breweries everyone gets excited about because they drank a ton of it while they were having a good time, and associate that with quality. The brewery is out of Louisiana so they most likely had it while getting shit-canned, eating gumbo during a binge drinking weekend in New Orleans. I have no problem with all of those things, I'm just posting this particular beer because it is another example of what is (IMO) an average, at best, brewery. Abita's beer really isn't anything special. You might associate it with good times, but just because an ugly girl is good in the sack, doesn't mean she isn't ugly. You were drunk, and it was fun......just like this beer. Specifically, their IPA is really awful. It's sloppy, overly sharp, the malt is too thin and syrupy sweet, and the hops are far too bitter and out of balance. I'm not sure what hop variety they used but it's "unpleasant" at best. I had this once at a beer festival and had to pour out the other half of my 3 ounce sample. It's going to rank higher than your bud lights, etc...but only because it at least attempts to impart flavor on the drinker, and has a decent ABV so at least you can tie one on more quickly. I'm not a huge IPA-nut, but this isn't an issue of style for me, this is just me having an issue with a poorly made beer.

Half-assed verdict: 3/10



Well, that's all for now.

Cheers, folks.