I'm a beer nerd, not a snob.

Am I (are you) a "beer snob" or merely a "beer nerd"? I consider myself the latter, but it seems that a number of people nowadays prefer to call me a "beer snob" as if I take some sort of offense to what they are drinking, especially if they were to have the audacity to offer me a bud light or the like. I may not like what they offer, but to assume I am offended by this is completely off base.

Let's start with the very base of the discussion, Webster's Dictionary (online) defines a "snob" as either: (1) one who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors; (2) one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior; or (3) one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste.

Keep that in mind and we'll get back to the definition later and see where I stand........

Now before I figure out where I fit, let me describe my love for beer in the most objective way possible. I have a general love for all things "taste" related....probably my favorite sense. I specifically use that love of taste in how it relates to beer. Just like many people prefer a higher quality of any sort of items in life, I prefer a higher quality of beer, and ultimately have little problem with paying for that quality. Much like a New York strip purchased from a reputable butcher is better than the 8.99 steak and buffet meal at Ponderosa, often times there is a distinct difference in quality in the beer I choose to drink and the beer made by companies such as Anheuser Busch, Miller, Coors, etc. This is a fact. Beer, in it's purest form is water, barley-malt, hops, and yeast. It is also a fact that things such as malt from rice or corn is cheaper than barley-malt, and is thus used by larger breweries to be able to produce a cheaper product. Beers that are more expensive avoid adding ingredients for purposes of making a less expensive product (although they add stuff to them to enhance flavor from time to time), and it can be argued that they are truer "beers" in the sense that they subscribe to traditional brewing techniques, as opposed to changing their recipes for pricing reasons. (Don't let AB tell you the other ingredients are to add "smoothness"....kiss my ass.) Needless to say, I prefer the taste of beers that are brewed with the proper ingredients, which often times leads to an increase in price. Of course, as I have shown, food and drinks made with higher quality ingredients often taste better.

As I said before, I subjectively consider myself a "beer nerd", but that's just me. I'm also going to be honest, and get into "dick" mode here: In my opinion, a majority of what is sold as "beer" and what is drank in this country sucks, period. Budweiser isn't very good, Bud Light sucks, Bud Select sucks even more, and Michelob Ultra is out of the realm of "beer" and reaches a level of suck not yet known to man. Outside of Budweiser (or MGD, or Coors for that matter), which I don't mind all that much, 95% percent of "macro-brews" pretty much suck ass. I guess that might throw me into "snob" category, but I'm just being honest. I'm not saying you can't drink them, or that you or others are stupid for what you like. I don't understand why you like something that tastes like watered down corn syrup.....but that's just me. I imagine you probably don't understand why I do a lot of the crap I do with my beer

So now that we have my reasoning out of the way, let's re-visit the definition I posted. I think it's fairly obvious, of the three possibilities listed, that #2 probably best describes my thought process when it comes to beer. I guess by definition that makes me a "snob". That's fine, on it's face, it's just that my problem with the terminology is that those who prefer a higher quality of numerous other products don't get the word "snob" thrown at them nearly as often. So while I already threw the text book definition of the word at you, I'm still going to insist that I am not a snob in how the current word is used, and instead I am a "nerd".

I'll even take this up a notch (with the help of anecdotal evidence) and suggest that swill drinkers can demonstrate a greater level of snobbery, if not more, than a beer snob. A beer snob/nerd generally knows his audience, and his surroundings. If you come into the bar where I work, you can snob it up all you want as we portray ourselves as an establishment that serves high end beer the way it was meant to be served.....proper glassware and whatnot. I am fully aware that 98% of the bars I walk into aren't going to serve their beer in such a manner (even if they have a few good offerings) and unless I'm fairly certain that they will, I'll usually just take what I can get.

Now, for the anecdotal evidence:

I have, numerous times in my bar, experienced a customer become upset at the fact that we do not serve "domestic beer" (as in Budweiser.......even though we carry hundreds of American brews, idiot), and also that we do not serve our beer cold enough, or offer frosted mugs. I have seen people become confused at those facts, and some insist that we are hurting our business because of these two things.

Things I have NEVER done at an establishment where I am not certain about the quality of the beer: complained to the staff or other surrounding customers/strangers about glassware, serving temperature, or poor selection. It is what it is. The farthest I have gone is politely asking if I can get my beer in a non-frosted glass. If that's not an option and if my pale ale has ice chunks floating in it like every other beer poured at the bar, then so be it. I don't think I've ever said a word to a bartender/server after the fact if my brew is given to me ice cold. What I have seen....however, on MULTIPLE occasions, is a customer becoming incensed at the fact that their beer isn't ice cold, and being irritated that they didn't get a frosted glass. I've seen beers returned, and I've seen noses turned up to a bud light that isn't cold enough to get your tongue stuck to. Yet, once again, I'm the snob. I just paid 6 dollars for a Blvd. Pale Ale with chunks of ice floating at the top, but your 3 dollar bud select is above 35 degrees and you want a new one. I fail to see how I'm the douche bag in this scenario. But whatever.

Another prime example is the MULTIPLE times that I have been given hell from family members, bartenders, serving staff, and sometimes complete d-bag strangers about my beer choice. I've seen serving staff get pissy at my mere polite ordering of something not starting with the word "bud", and I've had complete strangers huff and puff over my request for something that is located in the cooler at the other end of the bar. God forbid they have to wait 4 extra seconds to get their 16oz aluminum bottle of michelob ultra. I've even had a guy look at me and go "dude, just order a bud light", when I let him cut in front of me at a bar because I simply told him to "go ahead man, I'm still checking out the selection". Once again, I'm the asshole, right? This also happens to me among family members during large family get-togethers. They bring a cooler of what they want to drink, and I bring what I like to drink. I say not one word about what they have decided to enjoy, and yet I hear endless shit for my drink. I get shit about the glassware, the color, and of course the price. Once again, my instigation of this consists of nothing more than me having the audacity to do exactly what they are doing: drinking what I want to drink. Yep, I'm still the asshole.

99.9% of the time, I don't antagonize random strangers in a bar, and I don't say a word to family members unless asked. Now if I get a "why are you drinking that" then I'll be honest and say that I prefer it to XXXX, but rarely if ever will I step up a stranger or an extended member of my family and instigate any sort of "snobbery". And as I have just said, I have received much more flak than I have ever dealt to these folks.

Why is that? Is the presence of my beer insulting to them? Is it akin to wiping my ass with the American flag or kicking a baby? I honestly have no clue. We all wear different clothes, have different houses, drive different cars, and make a myriad of other decisions that say a lot more about us than the beer we choose to drink, yet I am 100% honest when I say that there are people out there that immediately get on the defensive when I have something in my hands that's not fizzy yellow water.

Now, I'm fully aware that the mere presence of this blog is slightly contradictory to this entire rant, but as I said before, I try to be aware of my surroundings when douching it up beer-wise. I'm not so retarded as to antagonize random passer-bys because of their beer choice. Yet, as I've said, it's happened to me on numerous occasions and will certainly happen again.

So I say DRINK WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, and so will I. Just keep your piss-water away from me and I'll keep my stuff away from you.

Cheers.

Bear Republic - Hop Rod Rye

Seeing as how the last beer I had was something sort of special that you can't get in the Midwest....or many other places for that matter, I figured I'd taste something that you can see at a high percentage of decent liquor stores/beer shops in the MW.

That being said, this isn't some POS beer that I just had lying around. This beer is up there as far as favorites are concerned, and certainly one of my top 5 or so pale ales/IPAs. It is a bit weird though, this beer has the kind of the Kenny G distinction, where it's super highly rated by most rating services (#81 overall on Beer Advocate, and #22 Double IPA on RateBeer), yet I run into a lot of fellow beer nerds, including the lame "hop heads" that for whatever reason won't own up to actually liking the beer. I don't get it.

Oh well, here goes:

This one is a 12oz bottle poured into a simple pint glass. Most of the time you see this, it comes in 22oz bombers, but you can occasionally see 4 packs of 12 ouncers. A 22oz guy will probably run you about 4.5-5 bucks. The bottle's label is different, so that's good, but it is a touch lame with the old hot rod on the front. It calls the beer a "specialty ale", and let's me know that it's 8% abv. Not a huge amount of booze, but most likely enough to notice the malt.

An easy pour gives me a 2 finger light-tan head in my KU Alumni pint glass. The head lasts for a reasonable amount of time and leaves a pretty think soapiness on top. Great, sticky lacing clings to the side. The smell is equal amount hops and malt, with a touch of alcohol. Hops are very typical, with a little grapefruit and just a little pine, nothing over the top. Malt is doughy, crackery, and the rye malt comes in with just a little spice. None of the characteristics seem too overwhelming. The smell allows you to believe that this is a well balanced beer.

This one has been sitting out for a bit, so it's not too cold, which I think this would be nice to allow the rye (malt) to come through. This is by all means a "heavy" beer. Big and chewy....yum. You know, it's actually hard to get a true separation of the flavors here......and distinct flavors is something I usually like, but for some reason in this one, it works. The sweetness of the malt barely sneaks in first, coats the tongue a touch, then you get a nice piney-citrus rind hop, followed by a really good touch of spice from the rye that hits you right as the hop bitterness does the same. The bitterness remains a touch after the spicy rye but it's never overpowering. If there was one word describing this brew, it would be "balance". This is possibly the epitome of the word.

This is just simply a top-notch crafted beer. As I've said many times I don't go nuts over hops, but I do like them when they are not the main show of a beer. This beer is certainly equal part hops and equal part malt (with 18% rye malt, according to the bottle), and they compliment each other very nicely. Never once in the beer does one characteristic dominate the other, and where the hops would leave their mark with an overly bitter finish, the rye comes in and finishes with a good dry spice instead of overwhelming bitterness.

At the end of the day, this isn't beer-gasm-esque as far as flavor is concerned.....although it has a phenomenal taste. This beer has top notch flavor, with top notch balance, which gives it a top notch drinkability for something with a ton of malt, hops and 8% alcohol. For that reason I am giving it an uber-high rating. For you hop-head d-bags out there that want nothing more than mouth puckering grapefruit and razor sharp pine bitterness............eat it. This is a bad as beer, and all the haters can eat a big one.

Verdict: 9/10

Suck it.

Pliny the mother-****** Elder

Ok, it's just "Pliny The Elder", but it's not often that some poor guy like me gets one of the highest rated IPAs on the planet out in the midwest. (#7 on Beer advocate, and #3 Double IPA on ratebeer.com). I took my nerd-dom to a new level and did a beer exchange with a fellow beer nerd who happens to live in Portland, OR. He sent me a bevy of top notch stuff I can't get out here, including the aforementioned PtE, and I'm hoping to return the favor sometime soon. Needless to say, you cannot find this brew out in the midwest, but if you ever get a chance out west, go for it.

Either way, the arrival of the package, which had the beautiful bottle of Pliny sitting on top was borderline "big O" inducing. It was almost a beer-gasm before I even tasted the beer...which definitely would have been a first. Now, I don't go absolutely ape-shit over IPAs, in general, but I do like beers of all styles in the sense that I really enjoy drinking anything that is really well crafted. I figured this wasn't highly rated because it was some obnoxious kick to the head in hops, but because it was still an uber-hopped beer that was well balanced, and well put together. This was all true.

So, let's review, shall we:

As far as I know, this only comes in the 16.9 oz bottle, like the one I received (outside of a few chances to find it on tap in the NW USA). Pretty cool, simple label, brewed by the Russian River Brewing Company out of Santa Rosa California. Looks like this one comes in at 8% abv, which will no doubt help the drinkability, as some big IPAs can get to the 10% level or plus...and that's a bit much even for a big dog like this. The most interesting part about this beauty, however, is that all over the bottle are statements pleading with you to drink the beer fresh, don't age it, and keep it cold. A lot of beer guys, like myself, get their hands on the good stuff whenever they can, regardless of whether they'll drink it right away. We'll grab it, throw it in a dark, cool area, and figure since it's probably a high abv beer, that it will age. Not this guy, they emplore you to drink it ASAP: "Consume Pliny fresh or not at all." This one was bottled on 3/22/10, so I think I was alright.

Beer pours a pretty cool heavy golden-orange. It's murky (not sediment, just thick), and looks really chewy...in a good way. Decent finger or so of bright white head, and as with most good IPAs, some really nice lacing. I was drinking it out of my mini La Trappe chalice/snifter thing.

Smell is of course, initially citrus dominated...but not just grapefruit. There are also some oranges, maybe a beat of peach and apricot, and a little whiff of alcohol presence. I'm getting to the point where I don't think that's a bad thing, anymore as long as it's just a touch. If done right a nice twinge of boos brings it all together. It's still a touch cold, but there is a nice doughy malt in the nose, some biscuity goodness.

Taste is a big fruity, citrus smack, just like in the smell. The fruit comes and goes kind of quickly and lets a decent amount of that malt in there. The malt though, also finishes crisp and extremely clean. And maybe the most interesting part of the drink is the hop bitterness, which comes literally like 2-3 seconds after the drink. The sensation with the bitterness is really cool. None of the flavors are extremely top notch (although the fruitiness of the hops is really nice and crisp, never overwhelming or too coating on the tongue), but the real great thing about this taste is the way it is layered. There is a very distinct 3-4 taste sensations, which is, in my opinion, what often separates the really great brews from the rest of them.

End of the day, this is really a top notch beer. I'm not going to go nuts on my rating because IPAs simply aren't my favorite style. I am really enjoying them more and more each day, but I still don't crave them like a top notch quad, or even an impy-stout. But, regardless of what you like, you have to absolutely appreciate that elite craftsmanship of this brew. The flavors are layered, balanced, and never overpowering.

Verdict: 8.5/10

Cheers, bitchez.

Half-Assed Reviews - 5/11/10

Well, I figured it'd be time for another one of these. I've tried some stuff while drinking out recently that I thought was worthy of noting, but wasn't in a situation where I couldn't completely get down with a real review. Some of these beers have been good, some have been average, some really freaking good, and some downright awful. I'm going from memory here so don't take this stuff as bible,.....whereas you should take any other beer I have reviewed as the quintessential, end all be all of beer reviews. (sarcasm) But, this should be a decent enough assessment to give you AT LEAST a "suck" or "not suck".

Avery IPA

No gimmicky name here, just their India Pale Ale. There is also no gimmick in how I will discuss this beer....in that it sucks, hard. This is an extremely bad beer. I had this 5-6 months ago in Kansas City and it was so bad that I thought it was a bad keg, or something had contaminated the lines, the keg, or even the glass. So I had it again where I worked and it was equally awful, possibly even worse. I understand that there are pine characteristics in a lot of hoppy beers, but this is honestly like drinking pine solve.....the cleaner. No malt balance, no characteristics of apricot, grapefruit, or anything, just pine. I'm not a major hop guy, but I certainly appreciate well-crafted IPAs....but this is not one of them. This is a really bad beer, regardless of style. If you're like me, and you don't like things that suck, stay away from this. However, if you like things that do, in fact suck, then give it a go.

Half-assed verdict: 2/10


O'Fallon Wee-Heavy

From what I can tell this isn't bottled.....yet. Which is too bad, because this is an extremely good beer. I was thinking it was gonna be a big malt bomb as it's a "Wee-Heavy". The maltiness and sweetness is certainly there, (it's 10% abv) but it has all sorts of yummy complexity going on. It has vanilla, some bourbony-booze, chocolate, a nice warming alcohol, some caramel, and a scotchy/peaty sort of smoke note going on which is really freaking cool. Not that it's a knock on O'Fallon as a brewery, but I was NOT expecting something anywhere near this good. The alcohol is certainly there, it's not hidden at all, but it's a good thing. This is a sipper, and almost has a liqueur like quality. It takes a while to put down an entire glass but it's worth the time. I certainly hope that O'Fallon puts this in bottles soon as I can imagine this could get very interesting with a year or two of age on it. If you see it on tap anywhere or in bottles sometime in the future....I highly recommend. Oh, and this thing really needs to warm up a touch or else you miss out on a fair amount of its surprising complexity. Giggity.

Half-assed verdict 9/10

Lagunitas "Undercover Investigation Shut-down Ale"

Apparently there's a story behind the huge name....something about them having to shut down for 20 days after an absolutely epic party. Who knows. Have you ever had The Lagunitas WTF (Wilco Tango Foxtrot)? It's basically a ramped up version of that beer. A big brown ale that's got a touch more malt in it but a bunch more hops. The sweet and the bitter play off of each other really nicely, and there's a touch of some sort of spice in there.....allspice? I've seen some reviews that suggest cinnamon...but I'm not sure. The bitterness isn't to sharp and is a nice mix if floral/citrus/pine, and is just enough to clean up what is otherwise a fairly sweet brew. Mixed up styles like this can really be winners if they strive for balance, as opposed to weird hair-raising tastes......and this does just that. Beer websites have this as an "American Strong Ale", but I would just call it a hopped up, big brown ale, because that's what it is. I find a lot of times the "American Strong Ale" is just a cop out to find an easier name for something that's unique with a big(ger) malt profile and somewhat higher ABV. Either way, this isn't a drop-dead gorgeous beer, but it's very good, very well balanced, and very fun to drink. Giddy-up.

Half-assed verdict 8/10

Founders Double Trouble (Imperial IPA)

Hello there, been awhile and I probably am behind a review or two. Oh well.....not like I'm getting paid for this. I've been drinking plenty of beers (often new ones), but very few of them have been at home, and as per my previous "beer-gasm" post, I have a hard time going 100% beer nerd when drinking in public. At least not to the point where I can take notes and what not to the point where I can write a proper review. So, here goes....again.

I've never been a huge IPA guy, not in that I'm anti-hops, but just anti beer being overhopped...which happens quite often nowadays. That's not to say I don't like the good ones, and seeing as how Founder's makes quite a few good "big" beers, I decided to give this one a try. I got it at Friar Tucks at Highway K and 40 in O'fallon, and it wasn't freaky-deaky expensive, at 8.99 for a 4 pack. Certainly not cheap, but in terms of Double-IPAs...nothing to freak out over.

12 oz. squatty botottle poured into a La Chouffe tulip. I figured something with a ton of hops in it could use something to help with the aroma. Bottle says 9.4% ABV as well as 86 IBUs (definition), and as with many Founders brews, it has a pretty snazzy label.

Pours a real pretty, hazy amber-orange. Aggressive pour gives it some decent head (that's what she said) but it goes down to a soap ring awfully quickly. As foam goes down it leaves some really nice sticky lacing, as well. The nose on this thing is brilliant. Big juicy grapefruit...not just like grapefruit zest but like big hunks of freshly cut fruit, floral notes of pine, sweet malt, spicy alcohol. Not quite as juicy as Bell's Hop Slam, but still great.

Taste.........sharp, bitter, piney. I let the beer sit across the middle of my tongue for a little longer and get a touch more of the malt backbone, but the finish is still just a *touch* harsh. If you let it sit on the tongue for while you can pick of the grapefruit, but the second you swallow it you get walloped with the pine and grass a sharp kick of bitterness that coats the whole tongue. The alcohol finishes and joins the sharp bitterness in the aftertaste. The bitterness is tempere as it warms, and the malt does a better job of coating the tongue. The warmth gets it a bit more booziness and grapefruit character and takes away from it being so bitter. Word to the wise: definitely let this warm up a touch. I mean.....you can drink it cold(er) off the bat, but give it a chance to warm up and you'll see that it certainly softens it quite a bit and makes it exceedingly easier to drink.

Well, I cant' stress it enough, letting this one get about 5 or so degrees warmer turned this from a so-so beer into a "good" beer. It goes from bitter and astringent on your tongue to a bit more soft, malty, sweet, before a more reasonable amount of hop-bitterness takes over. The hops are there, don't get me wrong. 86 IBUs and the amount of hops on here won't ever go away, the warmth just lets the sweetness to otherwise come into play to temper the hops and keep it from being too sharp on the tongue. (have I used the word "sharp" enough?......christ)

All that said, this is certainly a "good" beer, but I'm not sure it gets above that. I enjoyed it, and there is plenty going on to make it interesting to drink. A little warmth makes it easier on the tongue and somewhat more enjoyable. It's not a smooth as it could be, and it still could be a touch less harsh. Now, that could be me not being a big hop-head, or that could be a reasonable issue with the beer....who knows. The alcohol is a bout right, it's not kicking your ass but it certainly is present. Fun to drink, but maybe some bigger IPAs that I'd take/suggest before this one. There still needs to be a little more balance. Still a solid offering from a top-notch brewery.

Verdict you say???: 7/10