I'm a beer nerd, not a snob.

Am I (are you) a "beer snob" or merely a "beer nerd"? I consider myself the latter, but it seems that a number of people nowadays prefer to call me a "beer snob" as if I take some sort of offense to what they are drinking, especially if they were to have the audacity to offer me a bud light or the like. I may not like what they offer, but to assume I am offended by this is completely off base.

Let's start with the very base of the discussion, Webster's Dictionary (online) defines a "snob" as either: (1) one who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors; (2) one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior; or (3) one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste.

Keep that in mind and we'll get back to the definition later and see where I stand........

Now before I figure out where I fit, let me describe my love for beer in the most objective way possible. I have a general love for all things "taste" related....probably my favorite sense. I specifically use that love of taste in how it relates to beer. Just like many people prefer a higher quality of any sort of items in life, I prefer a higher quality of beer, and ultimately have little problem with paying for that quality. Much like a New York strip purchased from a reputable butcher is better than the 8.99 steak and buffet meal at Ponderosa, often times there is a distinct difference in quality in the beer I choose to drink and the beer made by companies such as Anheuser Busch, Miller, Coors, etc. This is a fact. Beer, in it's purest form is water, barley-malt, hops, and yeast. It is also a fact that things such as malt from rice or corn is cheaper than barley-malt, and is thus used by larger breweries to be able to produce a cheaper product. Beers that are more expensive avoid adding ingredients for purposes of making a less expensive product (although they add stuff to them to enhance flavor from time to time), and it can be argued that they are truer "beers" in the sense that they subscribe to traditional brewing techniques, as opposed to changing their recipes for pricing reasons. (Don't let AB tell you the other ingredients are to add "smoothness"....kiss my ass.) Needless to say, I prefer the taste of beers that are brewed with the proper ingredients, which often times leads to an increase in price. Of course, as I have shown, food and drinks made with higher quality ingredients often taste better.

As I said before, I subjectively consider myself a "beer nerd", but that's just me. I'm also going to be honest, and get into "dick" mode here: In my opinion, a majority of what is sold as "beer" and what is drank in this country sucks, period. Budweiser isn't very good, Bud Light sucks, Bud Select sucks even more, and Michelob Ultra is out of the realm of "beer" and reaches a level of suck not yet known to man. Outside of Budweiser (or MGD, or Coors for that matter), which I don't mind all that much, 95% percent of "macro-brews" pretty much suck ass. I guess that might throw me into "snob" category, but I'm just being honest. I'm not saying you can't drink them, or that you or others are stupid for what you like. I don't understand why you like something that tastes like watered down corn syrup.....but that's just me. I imagine you probably don't understand why I do a lot of the crap I do with my beer

So now that we have my reasoning out of the way, let's re-visit the definition I posted. I think it's fairly obvious, of the three possibilities listed, that #2 probably best describes my thought process when it comes to beer. I guess by definition that makes me a "snob". That's fine, on it's face, it's just that my problem with the terminology is that those who prefer a higher quality of numerous other products don't get the word "snob" thrown at them nearly as often. So while I already threw the text book definition of the word at you, I'm still going to insist that I am not a snob in how the current word is used, and instead I am a "nerd".

I'll even take this up a notch (with the help of anecdotal evidence) and suggest that swill drinkers can demonstrate a greater level of snobbery, if not more, than a beer snob. A beer snob/nerd generally knows his audience, and his surroundings. If you come into the bar where I work, you can snob it up all you want as we portray ourselves as an establishment that serves high end beer the way it was meant to be served.....proper glassware and whatnot. I am fully aware that 98% of the bars I walk into aren't going to serve their beer in such a manner (even if they have a few good offerings) and unless I'm fairly certain that they will, I'll usually just take what I can get.

Now, for the anecdotal evidence:

I have, numerous times in my bar, experienced a customer become upset at the fact that we do not serve "domestic beer" (as in Budweiser.......even though we carry hundreds of American brews, idiot), and also that we do not serve our beer cold enough, or offer frosted mugs. I have seen people become confused at those facts, and some insist that we are hurting our business because of these two things.

Things I have NEVER done at an establishment where I am not certain about the quality of the beer: complained to the staff or other surrounding customers/strangers about glassware, serving temperature, or poor selection. It is what it is. The farthest I have gone is politely asking if I can get my beer in a non-frosted glass. If that's not an option and if my pale ale has ice chunks floating in it like every other beer poured at the bar, then so be it. I don't think I've ever said a word to a bartender/server after the fact if my brew is given to me ice cold. What I have seen....however, on MULTIPLE occasions, is a customer becoming incensed at the fact that their beer isn't ice cold, and being irritated that they didn't get a frosted glass. I've seen beers returned, and I've seen noses turned up to a bud light that isn't cold enough to get your tongue stuck to. Yet, once again, I'm the snob. I just paid 6 dollars for a Blvd. Pale Ale with chunks of ice floating at the top, but your 3 dollar bud select is above 35 degrees and you want a new one. I fail to see how I'm the douche bag in this scenario. But whatever.

Another prime example is the MULTIPLE times that I have been given hell from family members, bartenders, serving staff, and sometimes complete d-bag strangers about my beer choice. I've seen serving staff get pissy at my mere polite ordering of something not starting with the word "bud", and I've had complete strangers huff and puff over my request for something that is located in the cooler at the other end of the bar. God forbid they have to wait 4 extra seconds to get their 16oz aluminum bottle of michelob ultra. I've even had a guy look at me and go "dude, just order a bud light", when I let him cut in front of me at a bar because I simply told him to "go ahead man, I'm still checking out the selection". Once again, I'm the asshole, right? This also happens to me among family members during large family get-togethers. They bring a cooler of what they want to drink, and I bring what I like to drink. I say not one word about what they have decided to enjoy, and yet I hear endless shit for my drink. I get shit about the glassware, the color, and of course the price. Once again, my instigation of this consists of nothing more than me having the audacity to do exactly what they are doing: drinking what I want to drink. Yep, I'm still the asshole.

99.9% of the time, I don't antagonize random strangers in a bar, and I don't say a word to family members unless asked. Now if I get a "why are you drinking that" then I'll be honest and say that I prefer it to XXXX, but rarely if ever will I step up a stranger or an extended member of my family and instigate any sort of "snobbery". And as I have just said, I have received much more flak than I have ever dealt to these folks.

Why is that? Is the presence of my beer insulting to them? Is it akin to wiping my ass with the American flag or kicking a baby? I honestly have no clue. We all wear different clothes, have different houses, drive different cars, and make a myriad of other decisions that say a lot more about us than the beer we choose to drink, yet I am 100% honest when I say that there are people out there that immediately get on the defensive when I have something in my hands that's not fizzy yellow water.

Now, I'm fully aware that the mere presence of this blog is slightly contradictory to this entire rant, but as I said before, I try to be aware of my surroundings when douching it up beer-wise. I'm not so retarded as to antagonize random passer-bys because of their beer choice. Yet, as I've said, it's happened to me on numerous occasions and will certainly happen again.

So I say DRINK WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, and so will I. Just keep your piss-water away from me and I'll keep my stuff away from you.

Cheers.